SUMMARY: Draco keeps a diary, in which he pours out all of his secret thoughts and desires. This is meant to be a fun, fluffy piece, so don’t expect too much from it.

SPOILERS: SS, CoS, PoA, GoF, OotP, QA, FB

12 October

I don't know why I even bother getting out of bed in the mornings on some days. Today started out okay - I went down to the Great Hall and had breakfast. I should have known when I spilled pumpkin juice down the front of my robes that it was only going to go downhill from there. I started to go back to my room to change into a clean robe, but on the way out of the Great Hall, I ran into her. She was alone. She's never alone. She laughed at me and made some comment about how she thought students needed to be potty trained before they were allowed to come here! Of course I shot back something without thinking about it - I think I said something about her hair - and she hauled off and slapped me! What is it with girls slapping me all of a sudden? Must be something in the water. Anyway, the day proceeded to get worse from that moment. I was late to Transfiguration. I was late to Arithmancy. I was even late to potions. I thought in there it would be okay since I was only three minutes late, but Professor Snape took five points away from Slytherin! I couldn't believe it! Then I managed to be partnered for the rest of the class with the Mudblood, of all people! I can't believe I had to sit next to her the entire time. She did nothing but talk and make goo-goo eyes at the boy Weasel. I thought I was going to be sick all over the table - thank Circe that Snape stopped their interlude by taking ten points away from Gryffindor! Dinner was uneventful. Crabbe and Goyle were morons as per usual - they kept using their mashed potatoes to make perverted sculptures of Millicent Bulstrode. That very nearly made me sick, too. I left dinner early, which made Parkinson pout. Really, I can't believe she still holds out so much hope for us getting together. We tried it once, and I caught her snogging Zabini in an empty classroom, so that was it for me. I will not be with someone who does not know what faithfulness means. After all, who wants to be with a girl who'd make you the laughingstock of the entire school? And I would be, too, if anyone had found out that I'd stayed with her after that. No, it was better that I ended things. Too bad she just can't seem to accept it. If she keeps up the pouting and whining, I'm going to tell the entire house what they did. See how badly she wants to be with me then, eh?

14 October

Since when did I become the bad guy, here? Pansy is the one who cheated on me, not the other way around! It was a merciful thing, I thought, to dump her and keep the reason why quiet. Apparently it’s fodder for making me a laughingstock among all of the Slytherin girls, if Tracey Davis is to be believed. She’s been spying for me for almost a year now, keeping an eye and ear open to see if any of the other girls talk about me. She’s how I found out that Millicent has a secret crush on Harry Potter, of all people (disgusting, I know), and she’s the one who told me that apart from Millicent, all of the other girls thought I was cute. (I don’t know that I like being referred to as ‘cute,’ perhaps handsome or dashing or dead sexy would be better.) Well tonight she told me that they were all laughing at me behind my back – apparently Pansy and Zabini have been carrying on for a long time, even before we started dating! I almost flew into a rage and hexed Zabini to hell and back before that damnable Weasley brat happened on us in the middle of the hallway. She stared at us for a while, then threatened to take points away, since she’s a prefect. Goody two-shoes! If it had been me stumbling across her and her brother in the middle of a blazing row, I would’ve summoned some popcorn and watched them go! But no, she had to stop us! And Zabini- that coward- must have just been waiting for a way to get out of it, because he took off running! I turned around and caught her staring at me. At ME! Who the hell does she think she is? All that red hair must have afflicted her brain, or something. I think seeing it every day is starting to afflict my brain, too, because after I went back to the common room, I couldn’t stop thinking about her. What the hell is wrong with me? I’ve been lying here in bed for close to an hour and haven’t been able to get her out of my head.

Still 14 October (update)

Have formulated a sweet, sweet revenge plan. I will get revenge on Pansy by dating a golden gryff girl. My choices are limited and it’s a dirty task, but it will all be worth it to see the look on her pug face when she sees me and the gryff walking hand in hand through the hallways! I know repercussions from Father could be big (he hates Gryffs, the girl I’m choosing won’t make him happy)- but I know that when I explain my reasoning to him, he’ll understand. Hell, he might even help, when he finds out I am plotting my big evil revenge!

17 October

I think I’ve found the perfect time to put my sweet, evil revenge plan into action. Operation: Golden Gryff begins the night of the Halloween feast! Tracey told me that Pansy and Zabini (oh, for fuck’s sake, I get tired of writing their names out – from now on, will refer to them only as P. & Z.) have plans to ditch classes all day on the 31st. Tsk tsk, we can’t have that now, can we? And what might happen if the prefect on duty just happened to know where they had gone, and just happened to know what time to catch them in the act? Ha Ha!!! Will be able to get in good with brat Weasley and splinch any plans the lovebirds might have at the same time! Oh wait – now I finally get it, that saying about two birds and a rock! Ah, sweet revenge!

24 October

Haven’t written in a while because things have been hellishly hectic. (ooh, alliteration! Golden Gryff Girls Give Good – ah, nevermind) Have been following brat Weasley around to try and sneak into her good graces. It’s proving more difficult than I thought it would be – she’s rarely alone, I think I might have mentioned that before. Anyway, I think she knows I am following her. She keeps giving me these really strange looks – yes, strange even for a Weasley. No one else seems to notice anything, which makes me wonder about her. If she knows I’m following her and I’m her enemy, why hasn’t she told one of the Wonder Twits about it yet? I’m sure that the Boy Who Lived to Annoy Me would love to have an excuse to turn me into a puddle of residual slimy goo again (which I haven’t forgotten, by the way. Note to self: think of a way to humiliate Harry Poofter in front of the entire student body). P & Z (the Slytherin version of the Twits) have been nearly inseparable for two whole days. It’s getting sickening, really it is – the very next time I have to watch them swapping spit, I swear I’ll turn them both into kneazles, or something equally as horrible. Yes, kneazles ARE horrible little creatures! One time when I was eight, Mum brought me a cup of chocolate, and the pet kneazle I had nearly gnawed my nose off trying to get to it! You try getting close to one after that and see if you like it! By the way, what is it with me and small, furry animals? First a kneazle, then a ferret. Damn, can’t a guy catch a break anymore?

26 October

Why are girls so confusing? One day P. wants me (and who can blame her, really), then the next day, she doesn’t. Then the day after that, she wants me… and it just keeps going on like this! It’s a vicious cycle, I tell you, and if I were her, I’d just shag me and get it over with. Not that I want to shag P., that’s not what I meant. I just meant that if a girl is gagging for it, it might do some good to actually do it. Yes, I meant it. Gods, I’d better hide this damned book better next time – the Snoop almost found it this evening (T.D.). I should have known that if she was snooping for me, she was doing it for someone else as well. Damn, girls are so sneaky and two-faced! Imagine hiring someone to find out about someone else, when – oh, wait. Nevermind. But, yeah, anyway, have fired the Snoop. She was working as a double agent- for me and someone else. She wouldn’t tell me who she was working for, but make no mistake, I will find out! I’m going to write and ask Father for some Veritaserum. That’ll fix her good, won’t it? In other news, Operation:GG is coming along nicely. No, wait, scratch that. It’s coming along slowly. I’ve finally managed to get the brat Weasley to speak more than one word to me. Really. She said two words to me tonight – “Sod off.” Sweet Circe, I’m in trouble. I need help. What the hell am I doing, trying to trick a Weasley into dating me? I’m Draco bloody Malfoy, and I am the richest, most good-looking boy at this ruddy school! I shouldn’t have to trick anyone into dating me! They should do it of their own free will! New plan: will become the ladies’ man, and have girls swooning all around me. No, scratch that, it’d be too difficult to get to class with girls falling at my feet. No, I will still be the ladies’ man, and instead of swooning, they’ll just follow me around everywhere. Ha ha!!! Take that, you fickle-hearted harpie! I will have my sweet, sweet revenge!

26 October (again)

Oh yeah, and if I manage to bag the brat Weasley, I wouldn’t mind. Strictly for purposes of defiling her family name further, and all that. Oh yeah, and to sod off her brother, and see that interesting shade of purple that his face always turns when someone insults him.